“Romance” is one of the most misunderstood relationship topics ever. TV, movies and society as a whole teaches us that women love candlelight dinners, flowers and chocolates. Oh, and let’s not forget the existence of the DUMBEST holiday ever…Valentines Day (or as I like to call it “Forced Romance Day”). To help differentiate how you can include more romance into your life, we must break down the two different approaches you can take:
1) Expensive gifts and dinner (for you single guys out there)
This is your basic “holiday” romance, which is reserved for birthdays, Valentines Day, graduations, etc. This is for those of you who are simply trying to get laid OR for those of you WHO actually want to land the chick, but are doing so simply for the purpose of having a “trophy” girlfriend (cuz let’s be honest, you don’t really want to HEAR her right? #eyecandyonly). These girls are most likely not the type you want to bring home to mom and dad and often times a side dish and not the main entree. It’s going to cost you a pretty penny just to keep them on your arm and you need to realize there is always gonna be some other dude out there with more money ready to buy her off you.
With that being said, if you play your cards right and do all of the typical “Hallmark” shit, you’ll definitely score. (Bonus Insider Info: if you hook this girl up with flowers, candy, teddy bears, etc…and she DOESN’T post it on Facebook or Instagram to brag to all her friends…it’s because YOU are HER sidepiece and she doesn’t wanna look like she’s taken. You’ll probably still get laid or at the very least a hand job, but it’ll be out of pity since it’s “the right thing to do” after all that money you spent. But I mean hey…guilt sex is still sex…right? Do your thing, bro!)
2) Save your money and shoot from the heart (for those of you who are wifed up)
If you want to keep a woman SATISFIED, then you must realize that the small acts of romance supersede large extravagant ones. We want to know you are thinking about us on our birthdays, but it’s even MORE important to know we are on your mind on a random Thursday or third Tuesday of the month. Before my boyfriend moved in with me, we were long distance. To this day, the most romantic thing he ever did (which he was ROYALLY rewarded for in the bedroom later – bow chicka bow wow!) was simply mail me a handwritten note to my work that said how much he loved me and couldn’t wait to see me.
I know, I know…some of you are probably thinking “what a pussy…that guy is whipped!” But truth be told…he is and so am I. It’s these little acts of romance that keep his woman satisfied and tunnel vision on him and nobody else. A real woman of VALUE will appreciate the “little things” way more than grossly overrated extravagant gifts. These random bits of romance drop our panties and keep them dropped ONLY for our man.
So no matter what your relationship status is, ROMANCE is a must and it is a powerful weapon if used wisely. So whether you just wanna drop your bomb just once, or unleash a continue arsenal of assault rifle fire on her ass for years to come, make sure you step your game up and know how to use romance to your advantage.
(Bonus Insider Info: Oh, and if a bitch says she doesn’t like flowers, she’s lying. She’s simply throwing that out there to come across like this laid-back low maintenance chick…but in reality she would LOVE some random bouquet of botanical shit.)
Kristal Umana is an IFBB Bikini Pro, NPC Judge, Optimum Nutrition Sponsored Athlete, fitness model, writer/blogger, pit bull advocate, daughter, sister, aunt and girlfriend. She is a skilled thrower of Chinese stars, loves malt liquor, believes Ron Burgundy is God, and thinks everything tastes better with pancake syrup. Beauty, booty and brains…this ultimate triple threat.