Muscle Sport Magazine

The Metabolic Damage of Perfectionism – An Inspirational Story of the Cure

Courtesy of Jenny Laurent
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Because I still had that goal of turning Pro in my mind, I had the urge to give the stage another shot. It took me two more tries, but I finally earned my first Pro card in late 2014 in the figure category, and this was probably one of the proudest moments in my life. I went on to compete as a pro for the first time two weeks later and I won Pro figure, and also a second pro card in physique. The momentum kept building and the following year I did the same thing and won a third pro card in bodybuilding and it was an “on top of the world” kind of feeling. I got used to winning, but you can’t always win. Also, I knew I was walking a fine line with my health and it again began to decline. But this time I knew better, and although it was difficult to walk away from a passion, I would not make the same mistake twice and jeopardize my health.

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In summer of 2016, I officially retired as a professional competitor. However, it was really challenging to assimilate back to a “normal” life, when I was so accustomed to adhering to a strict diet, and perfecting my stage presence, and following a rigorous exercise regimen. I realized that I was clinging to something I thought I had full control over, but it was really controlling me.  I found what I thought was balance, but was still a negative relationship with myself, the gym, and food. I almost just accepted that this was the way it was going to have to be. For years I had immersed myself in trying to find a cure to this “disease”, following every guru, but was fighting a losing battle with weight gain and fatigue which is a bodybuilder and model’s worst nightmare. I searched high and low for natural cures and researched different diets. I managed the best way I knew how, but I was searching for answers outside of myself, looking for the right doctor, diet, or supplement that would help me feel normal again.

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